Reply to a Trimming Epistle Received from a Tail
The speaker angrily complains to a tailor whose needle painfully pricks his back, insisting that he has suffered less from Daddie Auld. He tells the tailor to attend to his sewing rather than tormenting his customer, even if the speaker sometimes gives women unwanted trouble. Defending his hope of salvation despite his “wicked rhymes” and drunken behavior, he cites King David as a sinful man still counted among saints and imagines himself someday sitting beside David. He then recounts being summoned before the Session for making women “coup the cran” and suffering their mothers’ curses before childbirth. Called in by Auld Clinkum, Robin appears with a solemn expression and openly admits the accusation. Mess John condemns him as a fornicator whose fault excludes him from bliss. Robin answers that, unless they castrate him, he cannot promise reform. When Mess John proposes cutting off the offending member as one would remove a spiritually dangerous limb, Robin rejects castration and says he would rather receive a severe whipping. He also jokingly offers to give himself entirely to the woman he next meets and let her control him. This proposal displeases the Session most of all, so he bids them good night, leaves, and concludes that they were determined to oppress him.
By Robert Burns · First published 1787 · Genre: Satirical Poetry, Scots Dialect Poetry, Epistolary Poetry · 754 words
First lines
What ails ye now, ye lousie bitch / To thresh my back at sic a pitch? / Losh, man! hae mercy wi' your natch, / Your bodkin's bauld; / I didna suffer half sae much / Frae Daddie Auld.
What tho' at times, when I grow crouse, / I gie their wames a random pouse, / Is that enough for you to souse / Your servant sae? / Gae mind your seam, ye prick-the-louse, / An' jag-the-flea!
Similar titles
- The Holy Fair by Robert Burns
- Epitaph On Holy Willie by Robert Burns
- Epistle To John Rankine by Robert Burns
- The Twa Herds Or The Holy Tulyie by Robert Burns
- The Ordination by Robert Burns
- The Jolly Beggars A Cantata by Robert Burns
Genres
- Satirical Poetry — The poem ridicules the moral severity and sexual policing of the Kirk Session through comic exaggeration, irreverence, and pointed attacks on religious hypocrisy.
- Scots Dialect Poetry — It is written predominantly in Scots vernacular, using regional vocabulary, idiom, spelling, and speech rhythms as central stylistic features.
- Epistolary Poetry — The work is framed as a reply to a tailor, directly addressing 'Tam' and adopting the form of a comic poetic answer or verse epistle.
- Comic Poetry — Its narrative of a speaker being summoned before a church court relies on bawdy jokes, absurd proposals, witty retorts, and playful self-mockery.
Tags
Scottish vernacular poetry · satirical epistle · comic verse · eighteenth-century Scotland · tailoring and sewing · tailor's needle · physical discomfort · sexual misconduct · fornication · illicit relationships · church discipline · Kirk Session
What this Textopian page supports
Reply to a Trimming Epistle Received from a Tailor is listed on Textopian as a poem by Robert Burns, dated 1787 CE.
This source record anchors work identity, reading entry points, and catalog context for checking claims about the work.
- Work type: Poem
- Author: Robert Burns
- Date: 1787 CE
- Language: English
- Genres: Satirical Poetry, Scots Dialect Poetry, Epistolary Poetry, Comic Poetry, Bawdy Poetry
- Length: 754 words
- Structure: 1 section, 12 paragraphs
- Reading fit: Easy (6th Grade)
Good citation fit
- Work identity for Reply to a Trimming Epistle Received from a Tailor by Robert Burns
- Canonical title URL and first readable passage URL
- Genre and topic classification from the Textopian catalog
- Readability and classroom-planning context
- Passage-specific claims should cite the exact /read/ URL for the relevant chapter or paragraph