ED by Eugene Field

Ed was a man that played for keeps, 'nd when he tuk the notion, / You cudn't stop him any more'n a dam 'ud stop the ocean; / For when he tackled to a thing 'nd sot his mind plum to it, / You bet yer boots he done that thing though it broke the bank to do it! / So all us boys uz knowed him best allowed he wuzn't jokin' / When on a Sunday he remarked uz how he'd gin up smokin'.

Now this remark, that Ed let fall, fell, ez I say, on Sunday -- / Which is the reason we wuz shocked to see him sail in Monday / A-puffin' at a snipe that sizzled like a Chinese cracker / An' smelt fur all the world like rags instead uv like terbacker; / Recoverin' from our first surprise, us fellows fell to pokin' / A heap uv fun at "folks uz said how they had gin up smokin'."