Grit Lawless by Ethel Mills

Mrs Lawless was like a sick woman whose illness increased as the day advanced. She had recognised the finality of things on the night when Lawless walked out of her presence -- out of her house, to return to the woman with whose lot he had thrown in his own. It was another of the mad, reckless acts that had governed his undisciplined nature. But to-day, with her mind disturbed with thoughts of death and deeds of violence, the memory of how she had let him go without exerting every effort to persuade him to reconsider his decision troubled her greatly. Why had she not humbled her pride and pleaded with him? . Why had she let the thought that it would be derogatory to her dignity deter her from freely avowing her love for him? . Might not the strength of her love have stood between him and this evil? . She felt as though hers had been the hand to thrust him forth into the darkness for the second time.

Once before, in the years that were gone, she had thrust him forth; and in the empty years that had succeeded she had learnt bitterly to regret the hard unforgivingness of that act. Her one cry then had been: "I didn't understand. Oh! if only I could have the chance again. " The opportunity had been given her, and she had failed to recognise it. "He was so cold," she excused herself. "I was afraid of him. " And then: "I could not have prevented him from doing what he had made up his mind to do. My power over him is dead."