Only page of title Very Easy
2,775
75
desk that evening he made up his mind that his life had been a failure.
"I have labored long and diligently," said he to himself, "and although I
am known throughout the city as an industrious and shrewd business man, I
am still a poor man, and shall probably continue so to the end of my days
unless -- unless -- "
up into big boys and girls. They must have those advantages which my
limited means will not admit of! All my life so far has been pure,
circumspect, and rigid; poverty has at last broken my spirit. I give up
the fight, -- I am ready to sell my soul to the Devil!"
feelings), but one of the rules governing my career as a business man has
been to deal directly with principals, and never to trust to the offices
of middle-men. The affair now in hand is one concerning the Devil and
myself, and between us two and by us two only can the preliminaries be
adjusted."
called hangman's day, -- and that is as busy a time in our particular
locality as a Monday is in a laundry, or as the first of every month is
at a book-keeper's desk. You can understand, perhaps, that this is the
Devil's busy day; therefore be content to make this deal with me, and you
will find that my master will cheerfully accept any contract I may enter
into as his agent and in his behalf."
the Devil himself, would he treat. So he bade Beelzebub go to the Devil
and make known his wishes. Beelzebub departed, much chagrined.
Presently back came the Devil, and surely it _was_ the Devil this
time, -- there could be no mistake about it; for he wore a scarlet cloak,
and had cloven feet, and carried about with him as many suffocating
smells as there are kinds of brimstone, sulphur, and assafoetida.
good time we shall have together, friend Daniel! Ha, ha, ha! " And the
Devil laughed uproariously. Nothing seemed more humorous than the
prospect of "doing good" with the Devil's money! But Daniel failed to
see what the Devil was so jolly about. Daniel was not a humorist; he
was, as we have indicated, a plain business man.
condition that for the space of twenty-four years the Devil should serve
Daniel faithfully, should provide him with riches, and should do
whatsoever he was commanded to do; then, at the end of the twenty-fourth
year, Daniel's soul was to pass into the possession of the Devil, and was
to remain there forever, without recourse or benefit of clergy. Surely a
more horrible contract was never entered into!
could stir it. So Daniel drew up the bond for the Devil to sign, and
this bond specified that in case the Devil failed at any time during the
next twenty-four years to do whatso Daniel commanded him, then should the
bond which the Devil held against Daniel become null and void, and upon
that same day should a thousand and one souls be released forever from
the Devil's dominion. The Devil winced; he hated to sign this agreement,
but he had to. An awful clap of thunder ratified the abominable treaty,
and every black cat within a radius of a hundred leagues straightway fell
to frothing and to yowling grotesquely.
served Daniel so artfully that no person on earth suspected that Daniel
had leagued with the evil one. Daniel had the finest house in the city,
his wife dressed magnificently, and his children enjoyed every luxury
wealth could provide. Still, Daniel was content to be known as a
business man; he deported himself modestly and kindly; he pursued with
all his old-time diligence the trade which in earlier days he had found
so unproductive of riches. His indifference to the pleasures which money
put within his reach was passing strange, and it caused the Devil vast
uneasiness.
all the fun there is in it. You go poking along in the same old rut with
never a suspicion that you have it in your power to enjoy every pleasure
of human life. Why don't you break away from the old restraints? Why
don't you avail yourself of the advantages at your command?"
dissipation. All you who have made a study of the business man will
agree that of all human beings he is the hardest to swerve from
conservative methods. The Devil groaned and began to wonder why he had
ever tied up to a man like Daniel, -- a business man.
thousand times that our relations were simply those of one business man
with another. It now behooves you to fulfil your part of our compact;
eventually I shall fulfil mine. Come, now, to business! Will you or
will you not keep your word and save your bond?"
thousand and one souls from hell, -- ah, that staggered him! He had to
build the church, and a noble one it was too. Then he endowed the
church, and finally he built a parsonage; altogether it was a stupendous
work, and Daniel got all the credit for it. The preacher whom Daniel
installed in this magnificent temple was severely orthodox, and one of
the first things he did was to preach a series of sermons upon the
personality of the Devil, wherein he inveighed most bitterly against that
person and his work.
charity schools, free baths, libraries, and other institutions of similar
character. Then he made him secure the election of honest men to office
and of upright judges to the bench. It almost broke the Devil's heart to
do it, but the Devil was prepared to do almost anything else than forfeit
his bond and give up those one thousand and one souls. By this time
Daniel came to be known far and wide for his philanthropy and his piety.
This gratified him of course; but most of all he gloried in the
circumstance that he was a business man.
had grown to be a very meek and courteous devil; steady employment in
righteous causes had chastened him to a degree and purged away somewhat
of the violence of his nature. On this particular morning he looked
haggard and ill, -- yes, and he looked, too, as blue as a whetstone.
sanitarium, I can do nothing further than express my regret that you are
ailing. Of course our business relations do not contemplate any
interchange of sympathies; still I'll go easy with you to-day. You may
go up to the house and look after the children; see that they don't smoke
cigarettes, or quarrel, or tease the cat, or do anything out of the way."
imps waited upon me last night and told me that unless I severed my
connection with you a permanent suspension of my interests down yonder
would be necessitated. While I have been running around doing your
insane errands my personal business has gone to the dogs -- I would n't be
at all surprised if I were to have to get a new plant altogether.
Meanwhile my reputation has suffered; I am no longer respected, and the
number of my recruits is daily becoming smaller. I give up, -- I can make
no further sacrifice."
sentiment does not enter into this affair at all. We are simply two
business parties cooeperating in a business scheme. Our respective duties
are exactly defined in the bonds we hold. You keep your contract and
I'll keep mine. Let me see, I still have a margin of thirteen years."
