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SCENE -- _Upper deck of the Rhine Steamer_, Koenig Wilhelm, _somewhere between Bonn and Bingen. The little tables on deck are occupied by English, American, and German tourists, drinking various liquids, from hock to Pilsener beer, and eating veal cutlets._ MR. CYRUS K. TROTTER _is on the lower deck, discussing the comparative merits of the New York hotels with a fellow countryman._ MISS MAUD S. TROTTER _is seated on the afterdeck in close conversation with_ CULCHARD. PODBURY _is perched on a camp-stool in the forward part. Near him a British Matron, with a red-haired son, in a green and black blazer, and a blue flannel nightcap, and a bevy of rabbit-faced daughters, are patronising a tame German Student in spectacles, who speaks a little English._
THE BRITISH MATRON. Oh, you _ought_ to see London; it's our capital -- chief city, you know. Very grand -- large -- four million inhabitants! [_With pride, as being in some way responsible for this._