The Visions of Dom Francisco De Quevedo Villegas by Francisco de Quevedo y Villegas

THERE happened lately so terrible an uproar, and disorder in hell, that (though it be a place of perpetual outrage and confusion) the oldest devil there never knew the fellow of it; and the inhabitants expected nothing less than an absolute topsy-turvy and dissolution of their empire. The devils fell upon the damned; and the damned fell upon the devils, without knowing one from t'other: and all running helter-skelter, to and again, like mad; for, in fine, it was no other than a general revolt. This hurly-burly lasted a good while, before any mortal could imagine the meaning of it; but at length there came certain intelligence of a monstrous talker, a pragmatical, meddling undertaker, and an old bawd of a gouvernante, that had knocked off their shackles, and made all this havoc: which may give the reader to understand what kind of cattle these are, that could make hell itself more dangerous and unquiet.

Lucifer, in the meantime, went yelping up and down, and bawling for chains, handcuffs, bolts, manacles, shackles, fetters, to tie up his prisoners again; when, in the middle of his career, he and the babbler or talker I told ye of met full-butt; and after a little staring one another in the face, upon the encounter, the babbler opened. "Prince mine," says he, "you have a pack of lazy, droning devils in your dominions, that look after nothing but sit with their arms and legs across, and leave all your affairs at six and seven. And you have divers abroad too, upon commission, that have stayed out their time, and yet give you no account of their employment. " The gouvernante, who had been blowing the coal and whispering sedition from one to another, chanced to pass by in the interim, and, stopping short, addressed herself to Lucifer: "Look to yourself," she cried, "there is a desperate plot upon your diabolical crown and dignity. There are two tyrants in't, three parasites, a world of physicians, and whole legions of lawyers and attorneys. One word more in your ear. There is among them a mongrel priest (a kind of a lay-elder) that will go near to sit upon your skirts, if you have not a care of him."