Read "A Ballade of an Anti-Puritan" by G.K. Chesterton online for free on Textopian. Full text with search, annotations, highlights, and AI-powered reading aids.
They spoke of Progress spiring round, / Of Light and Mrs. Humphry Ward -- / It is not true to say I frowned, / Or ran about the room and roared; / I might have simply sat and snored -- / I rose politely in the club / And said, "I feel a little bored; / Will someone take me to a pub?"
The new world's wisest did surround / Me; and it pains me to record / I did not think their views profound, / Or their conclusions well assured; / The simple life I can't afford, / Besides, I do not like the grub -- / I wait a mash and sausage, "scored" -- / Will someone take me to a pub?
I know where Men can still be found, / Anger and clamorous accord, / And virtues growing from the ground, / And fellowship of beer and board, / And song, that is a sturdy cord.
And hope, that is a hardy shrub, / And goodness, that is God's last word -- / Will someone take me to a pub?
ENVOI
Prince, Bayard would have smashed his sword / To see the sort of knights you dub -- Is / that the last of them -- O Lord!
Will someone take me to a pub?