_Professor Milton had a famous plan for ending the strife between the Western and Eastern world -- split the earth in two, literally, and let each side go its way, according to its own ideals. And the trouble was that Milton could actually do what he planned! _
Without preamble, the door swung open with a rush and a man ran into the office. He was waving a paper in one hand, but this was not the only evidence of his excitement; aside from the waved paper and his obviously breathless appearance, the man spoke as soon as he was within sight of the other man behind the desk.
"Professor Milton has resigned!"
The man behind the desk smiled resignedly. "Don't be too concerned, Doctor Harris. Professor Milton has resigned before; he always comes back."
Doctor Harris shook his head. His agitation did not diminish, despite the calm composure of the man behind the desk. "Doctor Edwards," he explained, "you don't really understand. He -- "
"Look, Harris," replied Doctor Edwards, dropping the formality of title, "is there anything we can do about it?"
"No," admitted Harris uncomfortably. "But you don't know what he'll be doing next. " He handed the paper to the quiet man behind the desk. Doctor Edwards read:
Dear Doctor Edwards:
It has come to my attention that the world is in a high state of confusion. Under these trying circumstances, I feel moved to do something constructive about it.
You will understand that any honest attempt to eliminate the state of strife that exists is most difficult under my present affiliations with this Institution. Ergo, I make formal resignation, knowing that a request for even a brief leave of absence would not be granted.
Have no lasting fear. I may return once I have accomplished the reinstatement of peace and quiet in this troubled world.
Sincerely yours,
Paul Monroe Milton, Ph. D.
Doctor Edwards shrugged. "This time it is the state of the world," he said. His voice held a twinge of amusement.
Harris gasped. "You're not really worried!"
"Of course not. There is no single man on earth capable of untangling the mess of the century."
"I wonder," objected Harris.
"Why?"
"Professor Milton is a literal-minded genius, and a bit of a screwball. A more brilliant man has seldom existed on this earth -- but he reminds me somewhat of a powerful machine running wild; neither he nor a machine has much judgment."
"But what are you worried about?"
"Remember the time he said 'Nothing is impossible! ' and was instantly told to try scratching a match on a bar of soap?"
Edwards laughed heartily. "You bet! " he chuckled. "Milton invented a safety match that would light only when scratched on a soft, moist bar of soap. Nowhere else."
"Uh-huh," drawled Harris. "And a bit of common sense added to that kind of genius might have brought forth a real safety match that might be worth millions to the institution. What I'm a bit worried about is just what angle his rather literal mind will follow."
"No matter. We can stop him once we know -- and Professor Milton is not an unknown figure; we'll wait and watch carefully."
Doctor Harris nodded slowly. He was sensible enough to know that the Professor was missing completely and no matter how dangerous it might be, nothing could be done until Professor Milton did something to smoke himself out into the open. He left Doctor Edwards' office determined to keep a close eye on newspaper and a sharp ear on the radio commentators.
The General Assembly of the United Nations came to order after prolonged applause. The Chairman nodded genially and spoke into the microphones on his desk; his words were translated for those who did not understand his tongue, but no man present was unaware of the importance of the figure beside him. Pictures have no tongue and Professor Milton was genius.
"Gentlemen," said the Chairman, "this may seem irregular. However, Professor Milton comes before us to explain a plan he has evolved for the continued peace and satisfaction of the world -- a world made desperate by continued disagreement. We need no pre-vues of his plan because we know that Milton seldom presents any solution that is not workable. I relinquish the rostrum to Professor Paul Monroe Milton!"
More thunderous applause.
"Gentlemen of the United Nations," said Milton into the microphones, "it is not my purpose to decide who is right in these everlasting disagreements. Without a doubt each side has its own personal reasons for believing as it does, otherwise there would be no disagreement.
"However it stands that the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics wants to rule a certain part of the world in their own manner -- which is anathema to the United States of America. Similarly, the United States of America prefers to see the world operating under a manner favorable to its principles of Democracy.
"Because of this no agreement has been reached. An impasse has obtained for years.
"My plan is simple. Let us divide the world into two equal parts and each go our way, ruling each according to our own ideals. I offer you two worlds for one!"
Professor Milton seated himself.
The General Assembly was quiet for a moment; then all broke into a roar of scornful laughter. Minutes later the Chairman succeeded in restoring order. He said: "I fear that Professor Milton does not quite understand. My dear Professor Milton, we agree in the whole. The main argument is not that we should do this; the question at hand is how to get along after the world is divided."
"Simple," said the professor. "It is -- "
He was interrupted by more roars of laughter.
"Fools! Idiots! " he stormed. The power of his voice stilled the laughter. "You think it will not work?"
More laughter, and an undercurrent of remarks like: "Choose up sides like a ball game"; "Make it cricket, old chap. " "Match you for the Dardanelles, Commissar,"; "Swap you Java for -- "
"Imbeciles," yelled Professor Milton angrily. "Must I demonstrate?"
"Just how do you propose to effect this division? " asked the Chairman sarcastically.
"By application of gravitic field theory," snapped Professor Milton.
The Russian Delegate arose, was recognized, and said: "Professor Milton's suggestion sounds uncomfortable. I fully believe that no one will find fault with Russia if I exercise my power of veto on this suggestion. " He seated himself among wild cheers, laughter, and applause.
In the excitement, Professor Milton left.
Charles Ingalls of the F. B. I. smiled tolerantly. "I see no reason to be upset," he said.
Doctors Edwards and Harris shook their heads in unison. "You don't understand," explained Edwards. -- "Recall his words?"
"Of course."
"And you apply no importance to them?"
"His theory sounds reasonable. Let Russia run her section -- "
Harris snorted excitedly; he slapped the newspaper with the back of his hand. "Divide the world," he said, his voice rising in pitch. "Have you any idea of what that would mean?"
"Why -- it still sounds sensible."
"Professor Milton is literal-minded to the extreme. Professor Milton is sheer genius -- That is why he is employed in our institution."
"Then," snapped Ingalls, "why don't you keep him there?"
"We'd like to. The trouble is that Milton _is_ genius and as such quite important to certain factions. His ability to solve problems hitherto unsolvable make him valuable. One of the problems he has encountered and solved is the way to leave our institution at any time. That is why we treat him as an employee instead of an inmate."
"So about this dividing business?"
Harris shook his head. "When Milton said 'divide the world into two parts,' he meant that literally. He is quite capable of devising some means of dividing the world astronomically."
Ingalls laughed. "Impossible! " he chuckled.
"Several years ago Professor Milton was in need of some dye for some obscure purpose. One of his assistants made a wisecrack to the effect that if Professor Milton was so smart, why couldn't he filter the dye out of ink and use that. Milton devised a filter capable of separating the dye from ink, and used it. So far the filter is useless for anything else but it will certainly remove the color from a bottle of ink, leaving the stuff in two useless quantities."
"Interesting, but -- "
"Astronomically, the idea of separating the world into two hemispheres is disastrous."
"Why? " asked Ingalls. "I know little of astrology."
Edwards glared at him. "Not astrology; astronomy. Astrophysics or celestial mechanics. Your half-apple of a world is unstable astronomically. Gravity would set in unfavorably upon the instant of division and separation and the half-apple would collapse into two smaller spheres, gradually assuming true spherical shapes in thousands of years as the rocks cold-flowed. But for the moment, the shock and the immediate crack-up would leave no city standing; huge crevices would be formed, and no living thing to remain. Understand, I'm a doctor of medicine and not an astrophysicist. My description may err but I can guarantee that the results would be disastrous. I suggest that if you don't believe me, call one of the big brains at Mount Palomar; they'll tell you the details."
"It sounds impossible. But if the man is a maniac -- "
"Not a maniac," objected Doctor Harris. "Just completely single-track, literal-minded. Genius without judgement. Cares nothing for any problem that has not caught his fancy but will pursue anything he likes to the bitter end. Trying to keep up with what he fancies is like predicting which way a bar of bath soap will squirt when you step on it inadvertently. He's -- "
"Enough! Convinced or not, I'll aid you to re-collect the Professor. How shall we go about it?"
"You're the man-hunter," said Edwards with a smile. "How do you go about it?"
"Just what kind of thing will this mad genius use to divide the earth? " asked Ingalls.
"Lord knows," grunted Harris. "Why?"
"I was suggesting that we keep watch over the sale of certain materials."
"Make it a watch over _all_ materials," snorted Edwards. "Field theory is an abstract subject and he'll try to reduce it to practise, I'd guess. Mechanical division is impossible, I'd state flatly. Gravity holds the earth together; slicing it would do no good for it would cold-pressure weld together once the knife passed. But with some sort of field to divide and direct the forces of gravity -- Well, your guess is as good as mine."
"Fine," said Ingalls sourly. "So we have the job of locating one man in the earth who might be capable of ruining it, but we don't know how. " He snorted. "Could one man do it?"
"We're here because we think so; he's done some mighty impossible things so far. Few of them are known for security reasons. Actually, though it is not admitted, Professor Milton is the man whose calculations made the original uranium pile practical. He took theory and reduced theoretical equations to practical calculations before they tried it out at the University of Chicago. It was some of his calculations that -- stolen, of course -- put the rocket experts on the track of developing the V-2. So -- ?"
"Um. I begin to see."
Professor Moreiko of the Moscow Academy of Science shook his head heavily. "Ridiculous," he said in a good grade of English into the telephone. "Ridiculous, my comrade. No earthquake fault-lines exist there."
Ingalls, on the other end of the telephone, said: "We know that; but that is where we anticipate trouble."
"What manner of trouble. You do not expect -- ?"
"I have called every seismographic station on earth," explained Ingalls. "Or I should say that I am calling every station. Professor Milton -- "
"Ah, the great Professor Milton! He is -- ?"
"Loose again," grunted Ingalls.
"With what purpose?"
"Professor Milton has decided to divide the earth so that Russia can run her half while we -- "
"Divide the earth! " exploded Professor Moreiko loudly, nearly damaging the telephone earpiece and Ingalls' ear at the same time. "You Americans! . He is yours! I will help, but you must stop him!"
"Okay," replied Ingalls. "Just keep an eye on the district I mentioned. According to the big globe here, that is the best place to divide the world so that each of us can have an equitable half -- "
"And a precious lot it will do us," snorted Moreiko. "What a completely outrageous idea!"
"Well, I'm told he is the guy to do it."
Moreiko spluttered for a moment. Then his voice became sober. "Had any other man on earth made that statement I would have scoffed," he said. "But Professor Milton -- American, I am alarmed!"
The connection was broken as the Russian hung up in an excited mood.
Days passed. Days in which men poured over shipping statements, pondering their relative importance and seeking some clue of strange shipments to a strange location. A huge airliner was stolen; the seismographs of the world were still save for their usual reportings; for three days all radio was killed by energetic cracklings of static which appeared to be completely non-directional in source. The Department of Terrestrial Magnetism in Washington reported shiftings of the lines of equal deviation from true north and a change in the vertical component as well but their measurements were insufficiently precise to pin the source of trouble down to more than several thousand square miles.
Twenty days after the Professor had resigned from the Institution, all the world's seismographs reported a serious temblor. Directionally, it was tracked down, and the calculations indicated a fairly straight line of fault.
The fault was a vertical Great Circle of the earth dividing the earth into two hemispheres.
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