Read "The Monkey that Would not Kill" by Henry Drummond online for free on Textopian. Full text with search, annotations, highlights, and AI-powered reading aids.
The day was not yet broken when the 'watch' of the ship _Vulcan_, lying becalmed off the -- -- coast, was roused by a peculiar noise aft. Going to the spot he was surprised to find a much-bedraggled monkey rubbing itself on a pile of sail-cloth. The creature had evidently swum or drifted a long distance, and was now endeavouring to restore circulation. Jerry, being a humane man, got it some biscuit, and a saucer of grog, and waited developments. These were not slow to show themselves; within twenty-four hours the commander of the ship _Vulcan_, 740 tons register, was a monkey named Tricky.
Time would fail me to tell of the life that monkey led them all on board the _Vulcan_. After the first week only two things lay between him and death at any moment. One was his inventiveness. Tricky's wickedness was nothing, if not original. Every day he was at some new villainy; and anything _new_ on board ship is sacred. There is no _Punch_ published on board ship; but Tricky was all the comic papers rolled into one. But that was not the main reason. There is a good deal of quiet quarrelling on board ship. The mate spared Tricky because he thought he would some day give the Captain a 'turn'; the Captain let him live, hoping he would do something dreadful to the mate. Everybody waited to see Tricky do something to somebody else. So he rose to the highest rank in the merchant-marine, and was respected almost to idolatry by all on board the _Vulcan_.