The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow by Jerome K. Jerome

I always was fond of eating and drinking, even as a child -- especially eating, in those early days. I had an appetite then, also a digestion. I remember a dull-eyed, livid-complexioned gentleman coming to dine at our house once. He watched me eating for about five minutes, quite fascinated seemingly, and then he turned to my father with --

"Does your boy ever suffer from dyspepsia?"