Explore "Something in the Papers" by Ambrose Bierce on Textopian. Read with annotations and highlights.
"What's in the paper?" Oh, it's dev'lish dull: / There's nothing happening at all -- a lull / After the war-storm. Mr. Someone's wife / Killed by her lover with, I think, a knife.
A fire on Blank Street and some babies -- one, / Two, three or four, I don't remember, done / To quite a delicate and lovely brown.
A husband shot by woman of the town -- / The same old story. Shipwreck somewhere south.
The crew, all saved -- or lost. Uncommon drouth / Makes hundreds homeless up the River Mud -- / Though, come to think, I guess it was a flood. / 'T is feared some bank will burst -- or else it won't / They always burst, I fancy -- or they don't; / Who cares a cent? -- the banker pays his coin / And takes his chances: bullet in the groin -- / But that's another item -- suicide -- / Fool lost his money (serve him right) and died.
Heigh-ho! there's noth -- Jerusalem! what's this: / Tom Jones has failed! My God, what an abyss / Of ruin! -- owes me seven hundred clear! / Was ever such a damned disastrous year!