Read "A New Monroe Doctrine" by Oliver Herford online for free on Textopian. Full text with search, annotations, highlights, and AI-powered reading aids.
When Old Doctor Monroe discovered and patented his famous / anti-monarchical specific, warranted to prevent the spread of Effete / Despotism, Imperialitis and Throne Trouble, why didn't he invent some / equally Reliable Nostrum to check the epidemic of Old World names that / was spreading like a blight of infantile paralysis among the thousands of / husky young cities then springing up all over the United States? Rome, / Syracuse, Troy, Thebes, Memphis, Ithaca, and a host of others, names dark / and ill ominous to chubby young cities with no evil traditions to live / down to, staining their bright banners with bloody blots and black bars / of sinister tradition where should only be the golden stars and crimson / bars of freedom.
Indian names such as Oshkosh and Kankakee were to be had ready-made for / the asking; but they were few and for the most part too grotesque and / Asiatic sounding for the liking of a serious-minded young republic just / starting out in the city-raising business.