Read "Here's Another" by Lennie Lower online for free on Textopian. Full text with search, annotations, highlights, and AI-powered reading aids.
We were surprised to learn that we have a head, the shape of which is something between a frankfurt and a rockmelon. We had it measured by a hatter's "conformer" which takes an exact measurement of the top of the head. And you needn't snigger!
If you only stood up and looked down on the top of your head you'd be disgusted. In future, we are going to wear a hat with eye-holes in it, which will tie tightly around the neck (the hat, not the eye-holes; and, anyhow, if we had said, "going to wear a hat which will tie tightly around the neck with eye-holes in it".you can't have eye-holes in your neck).