The Indiscreet Jewels by Denis Diderot

While the favorite and Selim were reposing after the fatigues of the preceding day, Mangogul was viewing with astonishment the magnificent apartments of Cypria. This woman had, by means of her Toy, made a fortune equal to that of a general farmer of the revenue. After having been through a long row of chambers, each surpassing the other in richness and elegance of furniture, he came to the great salon; where, in the midst of a numerous circle, he distinguished the mistress of the house by the enormous quantity of jewels, which disfigured her; and her husband, by the good-manship painted on his countenance. Two Abbés, a wit, and three academicians of Banza, were posted at the sides of Cypria's easy chair; and towards the end of the salon fluttered about two Petits-Maîtres, and a young magistrate full of airs, blowing on his ruffles, incessantly adjusting his peruke, visiting his mouth, and complimenting himself in the glass that his paint held on so well. Except these three butterflies, all the company was in profound veneration for the honorable mummy, who was seated in an indecent posture, yawned, spoke while she yawned, judged of everything, judged ill of everything, and was never contradicted. "How," said Mangogul within himself, who had not talked alone of a long time, and was chagrined at it; "how came she to have it in her power to dishonor a man of a good family, with so wrong a turn of mind, and such a figure as she makes? " Cypria would fain pass for fair; though her skin, tawney striped with red, had a good resemblance with a variegated Tulip. With large eyes, she was shortsighted; she was of a squat shape, crowded features, with a long slender nose, a flat mouth, hollow cheeks, and a narrow forehead; no neck, a dry hand, and skinny arm. With those charms it was, that she enchanted her husband. The Sultan turn'd his ring on her, and instantly she began to open. The company were deceived, thinking that Cypria spoke from her mouth, and that she was going to pass judgment: whereas her Toy began in these words.

"The history of my travels. I was born in Morocco, in the year 17,000,000,012; and I danced on the stage of the opera, when Mehemet Tripathoud, who kept me, was named ambassador extraordinary from our potent emperor to the monarch France. I followed him in this embassy. The charms of the French women soon robbed me of my lover; and I speedily made reprisals. The courtiers greedy of novelty, would needs try Maroquine: for thus they nicknamed my mistress. She treated them with great humanity; and her affability in six months brought her in twenty thousand crowns in jewels, as much more in cash, and a neat well furnished house. But the French are fickle, and I soon ceased to be in fashion. I did not mispend my time in galloping about the provinces: great talents require vast theatres. I suffered Tripathoud to return without me; and I devoted myself to the metropolis of another kingdom.