Read "The Constant Jay" by Ring Lardner online for free on Textopian. Full text with search, annotations, highlights, and AI-powered reading aids.
Oh, will a day, I wonder ever be / When S. Jay Kaufman does not write to me!
Some days he just solicits information / Regarding where I'm going next vacation.
Some days he asks me (absolutely solemn)
To lay my work aside and write his column.
Some days he wants ten dollars, bucks, or beans, / To help the starving Middle-Europeans / I count that day a flop on land or on sea / When S. Jay Kaufman does not write to me!