Read "Peter's Pence" by W.W. Jacobs online for free on Textopian. Full text with search, annotations, highlights, and AI-powered reading aids.
Sailormen don't bother much about their relations, as a rule, said the / night-watchman; sometimes because a railway-ticket costs as much as a / barrel o' beer, and they ain't got the money for both, and sometimes / because most relations run away with the idea that a sailorman has been / knocking about 'arf over the world just to bring them 'ome presents.
Then, agin, some relations are partikler about appearances, and they / don't like it if a chap don't wear a collar and tidy 'imself up. Dress / is everything nowadays; put me in a top 'at and a tail-coat, with a / twopenny smoke stuck in my mouth, and who would know the difference / between me and a lord? Put a bishop in my clothes, and you'd ask 'im to / 'ave a 'arf-pint as soon as you would me-sooner, p'r'aps.