Mr. Deuceace at Paris by William Makepeace Thackeray

I said that my master was adoard by every person in my Lady Griffin's / establishmint. I should have said by every person excep one, -- a young / French gnlmn, that is, who, before our appearants, had been mighty / partiklar with my lady, ockupying by her side exackly the same / pasition which the Honrable Mr. Deuceace now held. It was bewtiffle / and headifying to see how coolly that young nobleman kicked the poar / Shevalliay de L'Orge out of his shoes, and how gracefully he himself / stept into 'em. Munseer de L'Orge was a smart young French jentleman, / of about my master's age and good looks, but not possest of half my / master's impidince. Not that that quallaty is uncommon in France; / but few, very few, had it to such a degree as my exlent employer, Mr. / Deuceace. Besides De L'Orge was reglarly and reely in love with Lady / Griffin, and master only pretending: he had, of coars, an advantitch, / which the poor Frentchman never could git. He was all smiles and gaty, / while Delorge was ockward and melumcolly. My master had said twenty / pretty things to Lady Griffin, befor the shevalier had finished / smoothing his hat, staring at her, and sighing fit to bust his weskit. / O luv, luv! THIS isn't the way to win a woman, or my name's not Fitzroy / Yellowplush! Myself, when I begun my carear among the fair six, I / was always sighing and moping, like this poar Frenchman. What was the / consquints? The foar fust women I adoared lafft at me, and left me for / something more lively. With the rest I have edopted a diffrent game, / and with tolerable suxess, I can tell you. But this is eggatism, which I / aboar.

Well, the long and the short of it is, that Munseer Ferdinand Hyppolite / Xavier Stanislas, Shevalier de L'Orge, was reglar cut out by Munseer / Algernon Percy Deuceace, Exquire. Poar Ferdinand did not leave the / house -- he hadn't the heart to do that -- nor had my lady the desire / to dismiss him. He was usefle in a thousand different ways, gitting / oppra-boxes, and invitations to French swarries, bying gloves, and O de / Colong, writing French noats, and such like. Always let me recommend / an English famly, going to Paris, to have at least one young man of the / sort about them. Never mind how old your ladyship is, he will make love / to you; never mind what errints you send him upon, he'll trot off and do / them. Besides, he's always quite and well-dresst, and never drinx moar / than a pint of wine at dinner, which (as I say) is a pint to consider. / Such a conveniants of a man was Munseer de L'Orge -- the greatest use / and comfort to my lady posbill; if it was but to laff at his bad / pronunciatium of English, it was somethink amusink; the fun was to pit / him against poar Miss Kicksey, she speakin French, and he our naytif / British tong.