Read "Fact'ry 'Ands" by Edward Dyson online for free on Textopian. Full text with search, annotations, highlights, and AI-powered reading aids.
'TAIN'T in 'uman nature t' respect a man what lets his missus make his trowsis, said the head packer. Feathers had the new man in the off corner of his left eye, but was chewing deliberately, and scattering his philosophy for the use of the globe. There was something very impressive about his chewing at moments like this, it lent a ruminating profundity to his discourse. He swept the brown paper neatly into the end of his parcel, and paused again, leaning on his job.
"No man that wore 'ome-made round-th'-'ouses ever done wonders in this world," Mills continued. "Napoleon's missus never made his trowsis, 'n' iv Julius Caesar's ole lady 'd tried t' push a brace iv pants cut off a set iv father's on t' him, he'd 'a' shown her some new hits, take it from me. Straight, there ain't no call fer two opinons 'bout the bloke in breeches with all the fullin' in front, 'n' legs like rusty tin cylinders. They show he ain't got hit enough in him t' make himself respected in his own 'ome, 'n' you can bet that at a pinch the wearer wouldn't have sufficient gimp t' get up off a tack."