Sink or Swim? , Volume III by Matilda Charlotte Houstoun

On the whole it was a relief to Arthur that _les convenances_, according / to old Dub's view of the matter, stood in the way of his being an / eyewitness of Rough Diamond's capabilities on the Derby-day. His first / feeling on hearing that Sophy's trial was over, and that he had a / paternal interest in the small pink-faced fraction of humanity which the / nurse introduced to him as his son, had been one of unmixed / satisfaction. As he silently kissed the pale but wondrously contented / face of the young mother lying so still and motionless on the pillow, / Arthur's heart was full for the moment of the purest happiness that it / had ever known; but the past -- the inexorable and ever-pursuing / past -- treading on the heels of the present, embittered his transient / joy, and destroyed, or at least darkened, all his prospects for the / future. Almost before he had left the bedside of his trusting and / silently rejoicing wife, the thought of the evil which a few short / hours might bring about struck through him with an icy chill, while / conscience with her probing pricks told him that he was unworthy of / life's choicest blessings.

For even then -- even at the instant when his / mind and heart should have been wholly occupied with the fair young / mother of his child -- a vision of his Irish love -- of Honor's sweet / caressing smile, and the exquisitely-moulded shoulders that had been, / but one short hour before, so dangerously near to his caressing / hand -- rose up before him, and caused the bonds which united both him and / her to objects unbeloved to be hateful in his sight. On the following / morning old Mr. Duberly, in radiant spirits, and rejoicing over his / grandson with a delight which struck Arthur as almost puerile in its / character, gave his son-in-law plainly to understand that his place, for / that day at least, was one within call of his marital duties. To watch / by Sophy, to be ready if she should perchance express a wish to press / his hand, or gaze lovingly on his face, were privileges which the / affectionate old man would have found it hard to believe that Arthur / might prize less highly than he did himself. The circumstance of that / especial Wednesday being the Derby-day escaped his recollection / altogether.