Children of no Man's Land by G.B. Stern

I

Antonia stood in the empty room in Bayswater, reading a scrawl of explanation which Gillian had left behind for her on the dusty mantelpiece. The floor was littered with bits of straw and string, a broken teacup, some torn-up MSS., an old stocking and a tin of Bluebell polish. her foot struck against the latter, and it rolled towards the tin fender and stopped with a forlorn clank.

"My dear-I've decided to go and live with Theo-why not? You'll find me here if you come this afternoon, 54 Middle Inn Gardens. I'm leaving behind a bottle of Elliman's Embrocation, because I haven't room for it. Bring it along, and anything else you see lying about. Yours, Jill."

"So she's done it at last. " Slowly Antonia left the house, came back for the Embrocation, could not find it, and went on to Middle Inn Square with the Bluebell polish as a substitute. With an air more than ever slim and defiant and passion-free, she swung into Gillian's presence --

"Jill!"

"It was-this-or sharing him with fifty others," the culprit explained coolly. She did not look in the least like the famous bacteriologist, as she sat astride a wooden packing-case, tugging with giant pincers at a refractory nail; hair rakish from the frequent tumbling of her fingers; eyes two greenish slits of roguery; cigarette tilted well upwards from the corner of her mouth. She did not look like a heroine of passion either. Her blouse was open and her sleeves rolled up, and her short navy-blue skirt was smeared with white where she had leant against some wet paint.

"You can help me unpack while you disapprove. That lazy little cat Winnie has gone off to spend the day with Camellia."

"Winnie? She's still with you?"

"My dear, what was I to do with her? I couldn't send her home again just because of a whim of mine. It wouldn't be fair. She isn't happy at home -- "

Antonia sat down helplessly. "A year ago Deb gets turned out of home, plus an income. Now you elope, plus Winifred Potter. You're a pair to make any friend of yours hysterical."

"A little more, and I'd have despatched Winifred labelled right-side-up as a farewell present to you," Gillian retorted grimly. "But she'll do for Theo to flirt with in his lighter moments."

"Theo's are mostly lighter moments, aren't they? Jill, I wouldn't have minded the sacrifice; I wouldn't have said a single word. if he'd been worthy. " She was ice-white with the conviction of his unworthiness.

Gillian said nothing for a minute or two. She still sat bent over the packing-case, one leg on either side of it, wrenching at the wood. Then: "Much need for sacrifice with a man who's worthy!"

"Then you admit he isn't? " Antonia sprang up. "Oh, Gillian, if you _must_ try a theory -- "

"Theory? Good Lord! Nothing of that sort. It's just that Theo isn't big enough or good enough, if you like, to remain faithful and decent and honourable to a woman who's only his spiritual love. Why pretend? -we all know what Theo is! " she shrugged her thin shoulders and flashed a wide smile up at her friend-"He's clever-with a sort of malicious destructive cleverness. Otherwise just an amorous gutter-snipe, who can't resist anything of the other sex-a Zoe in male. His reputation is a joke-I've heard scores of people chuckling over the latest Theo Pandos story."

"You know this-and still -- "

"I know it-and because. He won't do without the others-but he can't do without me. Look here, you blooming Artemis, I justify myself to you just this once and never again. Understand this. That little rotter is my. completion, if you like; the answer to my special quantity of X. It's a pity, I'm sure, that it didn't happen to be someone grand and distinguished and austere, who'd spend all day long renouncing me, and all night long being nobly glad that he did so. Can you see Theo being glad he's renounced anyone, ever? " again the swift joyous grin. Antonia could not help returning it.

"Theo's got a wife, I believe?"

"Oh, curse her, yes. A Spanish Catholic who won't divorce him. A dark flashing thing who looks all passion and Carmen and castanets. She's no earthly use to him."

"Gillian, you're a thoroughly immoral creature!"