A Tale of a Citizen and his Wife by John Donne

I sing no harm, good sooth, to any wight, / To lord or fool, cuckold, beggar, or knight, / To peace-teaching lawyer, proctor, or brave / Reformed or reducèd captain, knave, / Officer, juggler, or justice of peace, / Juror or judge; I touch no fat sow's grease; / I am no libeller, nor will be any, / But-like a true man-say there are too many. / I fear not ore tenus; for my tale / Nor count nor counsellor will look red or pale.

A citizen and his wife the other day / Both riding on one horse, upon the way / I overtook; the wench, a pretty peat, / And-by her eye-well fitting for the feat. / I saw the lecherous citizen turn back / His head, and on his wife's lip steal a smack; / Whence apprehending that the man was kind, / Riding before to kiss his wife behind, / To get acquaintance with him I began / To sort discourse fit for so fine a man; / I ask'd the number of the plaguing bill; / Ask'd if the custom farmers held out still; / Of the Virginian plot, and whether Ward / The traffic of the island seas had marr'd; / Whether the Britain Burse did fill apace, / And likely were to give th' Exchange disgrace. / Of new-built Aldgate, and the Moor-field crosses, / Of store of bankrupts, and poor merchants' losses / I urgèd him to speak; but he-as mute / As an old courtier worn to his last suit- / Replies with only yeas and nays; at last / -To fit his element-my theme I cast / On tradesmen's gains; that set his tongue a-going. / "Alas! good sir," quoth he, "there is no doing / In court or city now"; she smiled, and I, / And, in my conscience, both gave him the lie / In one met thought; but he went on apace, / And at the present time with such a face / He rail'd, as fray'd me; for he gave no praise / To any but my Lord of Essex' days; / Call'd that the age of action-"True! " quoth I- / "There's now as great an itch of bravery, / And heat of taking up, but cold lay down, / For, put to push of pay, away they run; / Our only city trades of hope now are / Bawds, tavern-keepers, whores, and scriveners. / The much of privileged kinsmen and store / Of fresh protections make the rest all poor. / In the first state of their creation / Though many stoutly stand, yet proves not one / A righteous paymaster. " Thus ran he on / In a continued rage; so void of reason / Seem'd his harsh talk, I sweat for fear of treason. / And-troth-how could I less? when in the prayer / For the protection of the wise Lord Mayor, / And his wise brethren's worships, when one prayeth, / He swore that none could say amen with faith. / To get off him from what I glow'd to hear, / In happy time an angel did appear, / The bright sign of a loved and well-tried inn, / Where many citizens with their wives had been / Well used and often; here I pray'd him stay, / To take some due refreshment by the way. / Look, how he look'd that hid the gold, his hope, / And at return found nothing but a rope, / So he at me; refused and made away, / Though willing she pleaded a weary stay. / I found my miss, struck hands, and pray'd him tell- / To hold acquaintance still-where he did dwell. / He barely named the street, promised the wine, / But his kind wife gave me the very sign.