Epilogue to "She Stoops to Conquer"

WELL, having stoop'd to conquer with success, / And gain'd a husband without aid from dress, / Still, as a Bar-maid, I could wish it too, / As I have conquer'd him, to conquer you: / And let me say, for all your resolution, / That pretty Bar-maids have done execution. / Our life is all a play, compos'd to please, / ‘We have our exits and our entrances. ' / The First Act shows the simple country maid, / Harmless and young, of ev'ry thing afraid; / Blushes when hir'd, and, with unmeaning action, / ‘I hopes as how to give you satisfaction. ' / Her Second Act displays a livelier scene- / Th' unblushing Bar-maid of a country inn, / Who whisks about the house, at market caters, / Talks loud, coquets the guests, and scolds the waiters. / Next the scene shifts to town, and there she soars, / The chop-house toast of ogling connoisseurs. / On 'Squires and Cits she there displays her arts, / And on the gridiron broils her lovers' hearts: / And as she smiles, her triumphs to complete, / Even Common-Councilmen forget to eat.

The Fourth Act shows her wedded to the 'Squire, / And Madam now begins to hold it higher; / Pretends to taste, at Operas cries _caro_, / And quits her _Nancy Dawson_, for _Che faro_, / Doats upon dancing, and in all her pride, / Swims round the room, the Heinel of Cheapside; / Ogles and leers with artificial skill, / 'Till having lost in age the power to kill, / She sits all night at cards, and ogles at spadille. / Such, through our lives, the eventful history- / The Fifth and Last Act still remains for me. / The Bar-maid now for your protection prays. / Turns Female Barrister, and pleads for Bayes.