Explore "Scotland (the Baby's Baedeker)" by Harry Graham on Textopian. Read with annotations and highlights.
In Scotland all the people wear / Red hair and freckles, and one sees / The men in women's dresses there, / With stout, decollete, low-necked knees. / ('Eblins ye dinna ken, I doot, / We're unco guid, so hoot, mon, hoot! ')
They love 'ta whuskey' and 'ta Kirk'; / I don't know which they like the most. / They aren't the least afraid of work; / No sense of humour can they boast; / And you require an axe to coax / The canny Scot to see your jokes.
They play an instrument they call / The bagpipes; and the sound of these / Is reminiscent of the squall / Of infant pigs attacked by bees; / Music that might drive cats away / Or make reluctant chickens lay.
_MORAL_
Wear kilts, and, tho' men look askance, / Go out and give your knees a chance.