The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce — Read

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Queen: A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.

Quill: An implement of torture yielded by a goose and commonly wielded by an ass. This use of the quill is now obsolete, but its modern equivalent, the steel pen, is wielded by the same everlasting Presence.

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