Explore "Philosopher Bimm" by Ambrose Bierce on Textopian. Read with annotations and highlights.
Republicans think Jonas Bimm / A Democrat gone mad, / And Democrats consider him / Republican and bad.
The Tough reviles him as a Dude / And gives it him right hot; / The Dude condemns his crassitude / And calls him "sans culottes."
Derided as an Anglophile / By Anglophobes, forsooth, / As Anglophobe he feels, the while, / The Anglophilic tooth.
The Churchman calls him Atheist; / The Atheists, rough-shod, / Have ridden o'er him long and hissed / "The wretch believes in God!"
The Saints whom clergymen we call / Would kill him if they could; / The Sinners (scientists and all) / Complain that he is good.
All men deplore the difference / Between themselves and him, / And all devise expedients / For paining Jonas Bimm.
I too, with wild demoniac glee, / Would put out both his eyes; / For Mr. Bimm appears to me / Insufferably wise!