The Grog-An'-Grumble Steeplechase

'Twixt the coastline and the border lay the town of Grog-an'-Grumble / In the days before the bushman was a dull 'n' heartless drudge, / An' they say the local meeting was a drunken rough-and-tumble, / Which was ended pretty often by an inquest on the judge. / An' 'tis said the city talent very often caught a tartar / In the Grog-an'-Grumble sportsman, 'n' retired with broken heads, / For the fortune, life, and safety of the Grog-an'-Grumble starter / Mostly hung upon the finish of the local thoroughbreds.

Pat M‘Durmer was the owner of a horse they called the Screamer, / Which he called the ‘quickest shtepper 'twixt the Darling and the sea; ' / And I think it's very doubtful if the stomach-troubled dreamer / Ever saw a more outrageous piece of equine scenery; / For his points were most decided, from his end to his beginning, / He had eyes of different colour, and his legs they wasn't mates. / Pat M‘Durmer said he always came ‘widin a flip av winnin',' / An' his sire had come from England, 'n' his dam was from the States.