The Letter from Lon by Payson Sibley Wild — Read

I. I never seen a man more prouder 'n Bill / The mornin' Lon's first letter come from France. / He'd et 'is breakfas' an' was harnessin', / An' I stood at the trough a-wat'rin' Babe, / When 'Viny come a-runnin' from the road / A-wavin' suthin' white an' screamin' like / She'd be'n attackted by a bunch o' bees. / Co'se Laury heerd 'er bawlin', dropped a pie / Ri't on the houn' dawg layin' by the door, / An' started like a rabbit fer the yard. / The houn' was scairt an' come a-bell'rin' out / All plastered up with messy strawb'ry dough; / The hens an' geese an' ducks got ri't on aidge / An' nigh screeched all the'r haids off ez they run / In ev'ry which way, 'n' yew'd 'a' tho't the hull / Dum works was bust. But Bill he only grinned; / He knowed what 'Viny hed, fer he hed heerd / The pos'man's car come chuggin' up an' stop / To our front gate. (Bill didn't hev ter look, / Fer he kin sense by lis'nen' ev'ry car / Thet goes by reg'lar-knows 'em by the'r rattle.) / ". D'ye notice, Laury, 'pears ter me like this / Envelop 's be'n a-monkeyed with somehow; / They's suthin' plastered over it that sez-" / An' then 'e eyed it closter, spellin' out / The letters 'e hed cut threw with 'is 'nife.

When Laury heerd the words she fired ri't up; / "Now who'd ye s'pose would be so mean ez thet! / He dassent give 'is reel name 'cos 'e's 'feerd / He'd git suppeenylized fer tamperin' / With other fokeses letters; so 'e ups / An' calls hisself thet or'n'ry Sensure thing! / Caint see no sense ter thet; tho' p'r'aps yew kin. " / She laffed one them thar cuttin' laffs o' her'n, / An' sez ter Bill she's gotta hurry back / T' the house an' 'tend t' some rewbarb she had left / A-stewin' on the stove, an' will 'e fetch / The letter in ez soon 's 'e's threw, an' leeve / It lay whar she kin find it on her burer. / 'Fore Bill could ans'er she was runnin' up / The kitchin steps, an we could hear 'er tell / The houn' dawg what a newsunce he hed be'n / Ter muss the floor all up with strawb'ry pie.