Paying Guests by E.F. Benson — Read

Indeed there seemed on the ensuing Monday morning, no conquests which were not within the victorious powers of Mental Science. Wentworth might almost become an establishment in direct competition with the baths and nauseating drinkings and general materia medica of Bolton Spa. Mr. Kemp actually refrained from brine that morning, and sat in the lounge reading the Manual, demonstrating over his hip and putting principles to the test by making short walks between window and fire-place. Mrs. Bliss went down to the baths as usual, but Wentworth was now beginning to grant that this violation of right thinking must really be for the sake of her husband, since a woman who could cure colds and tantrums and recover pedometers like that could not be in any need of saline immersion. Before she left, she spoke a few words to a gathering of students in Mrs. Oxney's room, which was really like a regular class of instruction, and was attended by all the guests (except Mrs. Holders and Tim Bullingdon) as well as a couple of parlour-maids with coughs. She told them that Mental Science filled you with health and energy for the harmonious accomplishment of the duties of life which must by no means be neglected, after which Colonel Chase started blithely off on the chief duty of his life, which was riding a bicycle, and Miss Howard wreathed in smiles tripped down to the Green Salon to drive into its faded walls the nails on which to hang the pictures which were to bring joy and refreshment to so many, and, it was hoped, profit to herself, for the labourer, said Mrs. Bliss, was worthy, sweet girl, of her hire. As for the improvisation which was to take place at the entertainment next day, and not only delight the audience, but bring in funds for the Children's Hospital, Miss Howard scarcely gave another thought to it, for she found that a mere closing of the eyes, a smile and a silent lifting of the spirit to Mind was sufficient to make her fingers reel out the most elusive passages, and she now felt she really had them by heart. Mrs. Bliss recommended her to give no further thought at all to the improvisation.

The guests were enjoying a few moments quiet in the lounge after lunch before getting to their jobs again when the Revd. H. Banks, who was responsible for the entertainment tomorrow, and was also himself to sing twice and recite once, came in with 'an unique appeal.' He was known to most of the company and was highly popular, for his ecclesiastical duties performed at St. Giles's amid cottas and banners and maniples and incense and genuflexions were quite a feature at Bolton among visitors, and made you feel, as Miss Howard said, that the Church was a living force. He was a welcome guest also at tennis-parties and teas, and had once said damn, quite out loud in the presence of Colonel Chase, who thought that very broad-minded for a clergyman. In general the Colonel had a low opinion of parsons since they had done nothing to check the abominable selfishness of the lower classes, in striking for a living wage, which had caused taxation to grow to such monstrous proportions. But Banks was an excellent fellow: except in church you would not know he was a padre at all. .