The Farmer's Friend by Ambrose Bierce — Read

A Great Philanthropist who had thought of himself in connection with the

Presidency and had introduced a bill into Congress requiring the

Government to loan every voter all the money that he needed, on his personal security, was explaining to a Sunday-school at a railway station how much he had done for the country, when an angel looked down from

Heaven and wept.

"For example," said the Great Philanthropist, watching the teardrops pattering in the dust, "these early rains are of incalculable advantage to the farmer."