Europe Revised by Irvin S. Cobb — Read

Of course, we had a bridal couple and a troupe of professional deep-sea / fishermen aboard. We just naturally had to have them. Without them, I / doubt whether the ship could have sailed. The bridal couple were / from somewhere in the central part of Ohio and they were taking their / honeymoon tour; but, if I were a bridal couple from the central part / of Ohio and had never been to sea before, as was the case in this / particular instance, I should take my honeymoon ashore and keep it / there. I most certainly should! This couple of ours came aboard billing / and cooing to beat the lovebirds. They made it plain to all that they / had just been married and were proud of it. Their baggage was brand-new, / and the groom's shoes were shiny with that pristine shininess / which, once destroyed, can never be restored; and the bride wore her / going-and-giving-away outfit.

Just prior to sailing and on the morning after they were all over the / ship. Everywhere you went you seemed to meet them and they were always / wrestling. You entered a quiet side passage -- there they were, exchanging / a kiss -- one of the long-drawn, deep-siphoned, sirupy kind. You stepped / into the writing room thinking to find it deserted, and at sight of you / they broke grips and sprang apart, eyeing you like a pair of startled / fawns surprised by the cruel huntsman in a forest glade. At all other / times, though, they had eyes but for each other.