Read "Alarm and Pride" by Ambrose Bierce online for free on Textopian. Full text with search, annotations, highlights, and AI-powered reading aids.
"Good-Morning, my friend," said Alarm to Pride; "how are you this morning?"
"Very tired," replied Pride, seating himself on a stone by the wayside and mopping his steaming brow. "The politicians are wearing me out by pointing to their dirty records with "me", when they could as well use a stick."
Alarm sighed sympathetically, and said:
"It is pretty much the same way here. Instead of using an opera-glass they view the acts of their opponents with "me"!"
As these patient drudges were mingling their tears, they were notified that they must go on duty again, for one of the political parties had nominated a thief and was about to hold a gratification meeting.