Explore "The Garrick (Club Cantos)" by Harry Graham on Textopian. Read with annotations and highlights.
If for solitude you feel a partiality, / If you chance to be unsociably inclined, / If (like other men of British nationality) / You abominate the presence of your kind; / If you take your pleasures glumly / And delight in dining dumbly, / And if table-talk's a thing you nearly die of; / If you look with detestation / Upon Gen'ral Conversation, / Then the Garrick is a club you should fight shy of!
If you hunger for companionship and jollity, / If you much prefer to chatter while you eat, / If you condescend at moments to frivolity, / And will fraternise with any one you meet; / If your interest is chronic / In the art called histrionic, / If your passion for the drama's hot and strong, too; / If you welcome its professors / Telling tales about their 'dressers,' / Then the Garrick is a club you should belong to!