The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Brontë

Though Mr. Lawrence's health was now quite reestablished, my visits to Woodford were as unremitting as ever; though often less protracted than before. We seldom talked about Mrs. Huntingdon; but yet we never met without mentioning her, for I never sought his company but with the hope of hearing something about her, and he never sought mine at all, because he saw me often enough without. But I always began to talk of other things, and waited first to see if he would introduce the subject. If he did not, I would casually ask, "Have you heard from your sister lately? " If he said "No," the matter was dropped: if he said "Yes," I would venture to inquire, "How is she? " but never "How is her husband? " though I might be burning to know; because I had not the hypocrisy to profess any anxiety for his recovery, and I had not the face to express any desire for a contrary result. Had I any such desire?

-- I fear I must plead guilty; but since you have heard my confession, you must hear my justification as well -- a few of the excuses, at least, wherewith I sought to pacify my own accusing conscience.