Landtakers: The Story of an Epoch

Although Murrumburra was only forty miles from Moreton Bay, the journey took a good four days by bullock-waggon at that time. For the first two days after they left the settlement Cabell gave Mickey and the bullocks no peace, he was so anxious to be back with his sheep; but on the third day he became silent and morose and let them idle along at their own pace. He even began making excuses to stop on the road, so that when they camped on the fourth evening they still had twelve miles to do. The fact was that he wished to put off the moment when he would see McGovern again. Matters had come to a head between them.

Cabell's outburst at Moreton Bay was only one of many symptoms of a crisis. He felt the spur of two impulses--the one urging him to throw up everything and return to England and the security of Owerbury, the other driving him to face the problems of his life, which was desperately confused. The first impulse worked upon him with all the fascination of the gracious memories from which it sprang--memories of peace and happiness in the lovely vale of Owerbury. The second was charged with only the bitterness of his anger and pride; it showed him that the one way to escape an ignominious return to the charity of his aunt and the hatred of his brothers was to force himself upon this alien and ugly land. At this moment he stood hesitating on the mystic line that separates youth from manhood, looking back rather wistfully, looking forward fearfully, for though the ordeal awaiting him would make him a cunning and sinewy man, it had to be faced and endured by the frightened boy.