A Book for Kids by C.J. Dennis

I'd like to be a publisher, And publish massive tomes Written in a massive style by blokes with massive domes -- Science books, and histories of Egypt's day and Rome's, Books of psycho-surgery to mine the minds of momes, And solemn pseudo-psychic stuff to tell where Topsy roams When her poor clay is put away beneath the spreading holms; Books about electrocuting little seeds with ohms To sternly show them how to grow in sands, and clays, and loams, And bravely burst infinitives, like angry agronomes; Books on breeding aeroplanes and airing aerodromes, On bees that buzz in bonnets and the kind that build the combs, Made plain with pretty pictures done in crimsons, mauves, and chromes; And diagrams to baulk the brain of Mr. Sherlock Holmes.

I'd set the scientists to work like superheated gnomes, And make them write and write and write until the printer foams And lino men, made "loony", go to psychopathic homes.