Sketches of Young Couples by Charles Dickens

THERE is an old-fashioned weather-glass representing a house with two doorways, in one of which is the figure of a gentleman, in the other the figure of a lady. When the weather is to be fine the lady comes out and the gentleman goes in; when wet, the gentleman comes out and the lady goes in. They never seek each other's society, are never elevated and depressed by the same cause, and have nothing in common. They are the model of a cool couple, except that there is something of politeness and consideration about the behaviour of the gentleman in the weather-glass, in which, neither of the cool couple can be said to participate.

The cool couple are seldom alone together, and when they are, nothing can exceed their apathy and dulness: the gentleman being for the most part drowsy, and the lady silent. If they enter into conversation, it is usually of an ironical or recriminatory nature. Thus, when the gentleman has indulged in a very long yawn and settled himself more snugly in his easy-chair, the lady will perhaps remark, ‘Well, I am sure, Charles! I hope you're comfortable. ' To which the gentleman replies, ‘Oh yes, he's quite comfortable quite. ' ‘There are not many married men, I hope,' returns the lady, ‘who seek comfort in such selfish gratifications as you do. ' ‘Nor many wives who seek comfort in such selfish gratifications as _you_ do, I hope,' retorts the gentleman. ‘Whose fault is that? ' demands the lady. The gentleman becoming more sleepy, returns no answer. ‘Whose fault is that? ' the lady repeats.