Speaking of Operations by Irvin S. Cobb — Read

Now that the last belated bill for services professionally rendered has / been properly paid and properly receipted; now that the memory of the / event, like the mark of the stitches, has faded out from a vivid red to / a becoming pink shade; now that I pass a display of adhesive tape in / a drug-store window without flinching -- I sit me down to write a little / piece about a certain matter -- a small thing, but mine own -- to wit, That / Operation.

For years I have noticed that persons who underwent pruning or / remodeling at the hands of a duly qualified surgeon, and survived, like / to talk about it afterward. In the event of their not surviving I have / no doubt they still liked to talk about it, but in a different locality. / Of all the readily available topics for use, whether among friends / or among strangers, an operation seems to be the handiest and most / dependable. It beats the Tariff, or Roosevelt, or Bryan, or when this / war is going to end, if ever, if you are a man talking to other men; / and it is more exciting even than the question of how Mrs. Vernon Castle / will wear her hair this season, if you are a woman talking to other / women.