On the Stage-And Off by Jerome K. Jerome — Read

MONG the sham agents must be classed the "Professors," or "X. Y. Z. 's," who are always "able to place two or three" (never more than two or three: it would be no use four applying) "lady and gentlemen amateurs, of tall or medium stature, either dark or fair, but _must_ be of good appearance, at a leading West-end theater, in good parts: Salaried engagement. " These gentlemen are appreciative, and very quick to discern real talent. They perceived mine in a moment. They were all of them sure that I should make a splendid actor, and I was just the man they wanted. But they were conscientious. They scorned to hide the truth, and told me of my faults without reserve. They said that I was full of promise, that I had the makings of a really great actor in me, _but_ -- and the remarkable part of it was that no two of them agreed as to that "but. " One said it was my voice. All that I wanted was to train my voice; then I should be perfect. Another thought my voice was a very fine one, but told me that my attitudes would not do at all. When my attitudes were a little more artistic, he could get me an engagement at once. A third, after hearing me recite a trifle or two from _Macbeth_, clapped me on shoulder, and insisted on shaking hands. There were tears almost in his eyes, and he appeared quite overcome. He said:

"My boy, you have got it in you. You are an actor! but -- you want chic."