Policeman G by Andrew Barton Paterson

Name: Policeman G
Author: Andrew Barton Paterson

"Policeman G." is a short satirical ballad by Andrew Barton "Banjo" Paterson, written in comic Irish dialect and set to the tune of "Widow McGrath," complete with the nonsense refrain "Mush-a-ring-tiy-ah, / Fol-de-diddle-doh!" repeated after every stanza. The poem exposes the gap between official anti-gambling rhetoric and the private conduct of the very officials meant to enforce it, using the figure of an ordinary beat policeman to puncture institutional hypocrisy. The piece opens with an Inspector instructing Policeman G. that he must turn a blind eye to the illegal bookmakers' "shops" along his beat — he is warned that if he ever placed a wager himself it would be a sin, and that he will win no promotion (no "stripes") for actually arresting the gamblers he passes. The same Inspector then reverses himself entirely in a different, more public setting: addressing the House Committee, he laments piously that gambling is spreading uncontrollably, that bettors wager on both the steeplechase and the Cup, and that the magistrates refuse to lock the offenders up. The juxtaposition of these two speeches — private indifference versus public moral outrage — is the poem's central satirical device, showing that the authority charged with condemning gambling is simultaneously ensuring nothing is done to stop it. Policeman G. himself is given the last, most cynical word. Walking his beat past the very gambling dens he has been told to ignore, he grumbles to himself that there is no point talking piously about the law ("What's the use to be talkin' rot") when his own self-interest is what actually governs his behavior: if he were made a sergeant, he says, he would gladly "cop the lot" — round up every gambler on his patch — implying that his current inaction is not principled restraint but simple careerism, since enforcement brings him no reward under present conditions. The poem's final two stanzas make the hypocrisy fully personal and complete the joke: Policeman G. admits that if he actually tried to suppress the betting "shop," there is no telling where the resulting uproar would end, because both rich and poor patrons would riot if he interfered with fifty-thousand-pound betting turnover at Randwick racecourse. He then confesses, in broad dialect, that although he is nominally forbidden to box, spit, or bet while on duty, he intends to get out to Randwick regardless — because he himself has a pound staked on "Paddy Nolan's horse" in the Steeplechase. The lawman meant to police gambling is revealed as an enthusiastic gambler himself, closing the poem on a note of genial, self-aware corruption rather than any resolution or reform. Structurally, the poem is built as a music-hall or folk-song parody: five short stanzas of rhymed couplets, each capped by the same comic refrain, giving it the rhythm and delivery of a performed ballad rather than a narrative poem in Paterson's more famous bush-ballad mode (such as "The Man from Snowy River" or "Clancy of the Overflow"). Rather than romanticizing rural life or heroic figures, "Policeman G." belongs to Paterson's more overtly comic and topical vein, closer in spirit to pieces like "The Man from Ironbark," using vernacular Irish-Australian speech, urban racecourse culture (Randwick, the Melbourne Cup, steeplechasing), and institutional satire aimed at police, magistrates, and parliamentary committees. The humor turns entirely on dramatic irony: the reader is let in on the private admissions of both the Inspector and Policeman G., seeing plainly what the official public performance of law-and-order conceals — that enforcement is negotiable, that rank and self-interest outweigh principle, and that the gambling culture the authorities publicly denounce is one they themselves quietly participate in and protect. The poem offers no punishment, correction, or comeuppance; its comic force lies precisely in leaving the hypocrisy unresolved and self-satisfied, a wry snapshot of colonial Australian institutional life rather than a moral fable.

By Andrew Barton Paterson · First published 1940 · Genre: Narrative Poetry, Satirical Poetry, Humorous Poetry · 343 words

First lines

Air: "Widow McGrath"

To Policeman G. the Inspector said: / "When you pass the 'shops' you must turn your head; / If you took a wager, that would be a sin; / So you'll earn no stripes if you run them in. " / Mush-a-ring-tiy-ah, / Fol-de-diddle-doh!

To the House Committee, the Inspector said: / "Tis a terrible thing how the gamblers spread, / For they bet on the Steeple, and they bet on the Cup, / And the magistrates won't lock them up. " / Mush-a-ring-tiy-ah, / Fol-de-diddle-doh!

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Policeman G is listed on Textopian as a poem by Andrew Barton Paterson, dated 1940 CE.

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Work type: Poem
Author: Andrew Barton Paterson
Date: 1940 CE
Language: English
Genres: Narrative Poetry, Satirical Poetry, Humorous Poetry, Ballad, Social Commentary
Length: 343 words
Structure: 1 section, 7 paragraphs
Reading fit: Fairly Easy (7th Grade)

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Genres

Narrative Poetry — The poem tells a complete story with narrative progression about Policeman G receiving orders from superiors and revealing his hypocritical intentions regarding gambling enforcement.
Satirical Poetry — The work employs sharp irony and satire to critique police corruption and hypocrisy—officers are instructed to suppress gambling while Policeman G admits he would ignore the law if promoted, exposing institutional double standards.
Humorous Poetry — Comedic tone throughout driven by ironic dialogue, the protagonist's candid admission of malfeasance, and the absurd contradiction between official duty and personal corruption.
Ballad — Employs traditional ballad structure with regular meter, repeated refrain ('Mush-a-ring-tiy-ah, Fol-de-diddle-doh!'), Irish folk tune attribution ('Widow McGrath'), and oral tradition characteristics.