The Breeches Bishop by Bernard Capes
Bernard Capes’s tale recounts how Dr. Barnabas Winthrop, the kindly curate of St. Ascham’s, brings trouble upon himself by publishing De omni re Scibili, a pamphlet arguing that plague may be prevented through cleanliness, reduced crowding, and the removal of filth. The authorities of Godsport denounce this as heresy against God’s prerogative and summon him before the Sessions Court. Determined to appeal directly to the King, Winthrop rides toward Winchester with his granddaughter and housekeeper, Joan Seabird. On the road they meet a dark, insolent cavalier who learns Winthrop’s grievance and promises the King’s consideration. When the curate’s horse loses its girth, the stranger offers Joan a place behind him, then rides off with her. Joan escapes by slipping down when a cow obstructs the way and pricking his horse with a silver hairpin. She tells her grandfather that their abductor was King Charles himself. Alarmed by both the King’s conduct and Joan’s interest in him, Winthrop abandons his intended appeal. Rain, exhaustion, and Winthrop’s fall into a stream leave them seeking shelter near a village. A toll-woman warns them that wild company is drinking at The Five Alls, and Joan is left safely with her while Winthrop goes to the inn to dry his soaked breeches. Wrapped only in a rug, he falls asleep before the fire and wakes to find the King and his drunken companions surrounding him. Charles recognizes him, mocks his defence of Joan, and repeatedly demands to know where she is hidden. Winthrop refuses, knowing that the King threatens to search every nearby house. Seeing his breeches drying before the hearth, the curate devises a bold escape. He invokes the fashionable custom by which a man drinking a lady’s health burns an article of dress and requires his companions to do the same. After Charles swears that all will follow the toast, Winthrop drinks to Joan, throws his own breeches into the fire, and demands the King’s breeches in fulfilment of his royal word. Charles, amused and defeated, removes his small-clothes, orders every other man in the room to surrender theirs, and leaves his revelers shamefully exposed. Winthrop then reveals that Joan is sheltered at the toll-house. Charles admits that the curate has beaten him, declares that Joan may remain where she is, and rewards Winthrop’s audacity by promising him a bishop’s frock. The story presents this comic triumph as the true explanation of Dr. Winthrop’s election and of Godsport’s defeat on a writ of quo warranto.
By Bernard Capes · First published 1899 · Genre: Historical Fiction, Historical Comedy, Satire · 4,406 words
First lines
In that age of gallantry, the reign of Charles the Second, it was customary when a gentleman drank a lady's health to throw some part of his dress into the flames, in order to do her still greater honour. This was well enough for a lover, but the folly did not stop here, for his companions were obliged to follow him in this proof of his veneration by consuming a similar article, whatever it might be.
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Genres
- Historical Fiction — The story is set in Restoration England during the reign of Charles II, using period politics, social customs, religious controversy, and the King's court as central elements of its plot.
- Historical Comedy — Its plot turns on farcical reversals, drunken aristocrats, an audacious clerical trick, and the comic humiliation of powerful men through the ceremonial burning of their breeches.
- Satire — The narrative satirizes Restoration gallantry, royal licentiousness, official religious intolerance, social rank, and the absurdity of fashionable codes of honour.
- Comic Adventure — Dr. Winthrop and Joan undertake a journey to seek royal justice, encounter danger and misdirection, suffer an attempted abduction, and escape through bold improvisation.
Tags
Restoration England · reign of Charles II · late seventeenth century · Hampshire · Winchester · comic historical fiction · short story · satire · farce · clergy · public health reform · plague prevention
What this Textopian page supports
The Breeches Bishop is listed on Textopian as a short story by Bernard Capes, dated 1899 CE.
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- Work type: Short story
- Author: Bernard Capes
- Date: 1899 CE
- Language: English
- Genres: Historical Fiction, Historical Comedy, Satire, Comic Adventure, Literary Fiction
- Length: 4,406 words
- Structure: 1 section, 120 paragraphs
- Reading fit: Fairly Easy (7th Grade)
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