By Advice of Counsel

By Advice of Counsel by P. G. Wodehouse

The waiter was recounting a story about Jerry Moore's visit to the Tuxton family home. Jerry had been invited for supper and had initially been polite and courteous. However, as the evening progressed, he began to exhibit increasingly rude behavior. He started by scolding the fat yellow dog that belonged to the family, telling it to get further away from them. When the parrot in its cage squawked, Jerry became angry and flung the cage out of the window. He then put the dog outside through the door. As the evening continued, Jerry's behavior became more and more outrageous. He scolded Uncle Dick for his fondness for the parrot, telling him that it was a menagerie and that he couldn't have supper in peace without an image like the parrot starting to holler. When Ralph, the bank-clerk and a dude, tried to make conversation by telling a story about a man named Wotherspoon, Jerry interrupted him and told him that his waistcoat was fierce. The final straw came when the small brother, who had been staring at Jerry, made a comment about Jerry's nose. Jerry rose from his seat and clipped the kid on one side of the ear-hole. This led to a general imbroglio, with everyone standing up and the kid hollering and the dog barking. In the end, Jerry told Pa Tuxton that he would strike him child again if necessary, and that they should all leave the room so that he could have a private talk with Jane. The family left, but Jerry remained behind, scowling at them. However, when Gentleman asked him about his behavior, Jerry claimed that it was all part of a plan to win Jane's heart. He said that if Gentleman hadn't told him to insult her folks, he wouldn't have been able to pull off the trick and win her over. The waiter was amazed by Jerry's audacity and couldn't believe what he had just heard.

By P. G. Wodehouse · First published 1930 · Genre: Humor, Satire, Short story collection · 5,457 words

First lines

The traveller champed meditatively at his steak. He paid no attention to the altercation which was in progress between the waiter and the man at the other end of the dingy room. The sounds of strife ceased. The waiter came over to the traveller's table and stood behind his chair. He was ruffled.

"If he meant lamb," he said, querulously, "why didn't he say ‘lamb,' so's a feller could hear him? I thought he said ‘ham,' so I brought ham. Now Lord Percy gets all peevish. "

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By Advice of Counsel is listed on Textopian as a short story by P. G. Wodehouse, dated 1930 CE.

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comedy · humor · satire · British literature · novel · fiction · romance · adventure · mystery · social class · upper class · witty dialogue

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