The Inventory by Robert Burns (1786)

Name: The Inventory
Author: Robert Burns

In answer to the Surveyor of the Taxes, the speaker sends a sworn list of his goods, gear, and household. He owns four carriage beasts: an old but strong leader; a well-going fillie that has often carried him home from Killie and through the auld borough, but now suffers from spavie after he rashly rode her while courting; a reliable beast for the rear; and a fierce Highland Donald hastle. He also has an excellent cowt which, if spared to become a beast, may bring him fifteen pounds. His wheeled property consists of three carts, two of them mostly new, and an old wheelbarrow with one leg and both trams broken. He has made its spindle into a poker, while his auld mither burned the trin'le. For men, he lists three noisy and troublesome boys. One is a gaudsman, another a thrasher, and wee Davock keeps the cattle in fodder. The speaker says he rules and frequently labours them, and on Sunday nights presses them closely on the Questions. Davock, though scarcely longer than the surveyor’s leg, has become quick enough to recite Effectual Calling rapidly. He has no female servant and no wife, which he treats as freedom from temptation and from any tax on misses. He is more than contented with weans, though Heav'n has sent him one more than he wanted: his sonsie, smirking, dear-bought Bess. She strongly resembles her daddy, with enough of anything one might like except grace. He says he has already paid enough for her, and threatens that if the surveyor taxes Bess or her mither, he will get them both together. The speaker declares that he will take out no licence from then on. Rather than pay so dearly for a saddle, he will ride neither horse nor hizzie, but will travel on foot through dirt and dub, thankful for his sturdy bearers. He tells the kirk and the surveyor that this will put little in their pat, and asks not to be entered in the tax book for ten white shillings. He certifies the list as written in his own hand and signs it Robert Burns at Mossgiel, February 22, 1786.

By Robert Burns · First published 1786 · Genre: Satirical Poetry, Scottish Vernacular Poetry, Epistolary Poetry · 953 words

First lines

The "Inventory" was addressed to Mr. Aitken of Ayr, surveyor of taxes for the district.

In answer to a mandate by the Surveyor of the Taxes

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The Inventory is listed on Textopian as a poem by Robert Burns, dated 1786 CE.

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Work type: Poem
Author: Robert Burns
Date: 1786 CE
Language: English
Genres: Satirical Poetry, Scottish Vernacular Poetry, Epistolary Poetry, Comic Poetry, Social Satire
Length: 953 words
Structure: 1 section, 10 paragraphs
Reading fit: Fairly Easy (7th Grade)

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Genres

Satirical Poetry — The poem humorously mocks tax assessment, official bureaucracy, church scrutiny, and the financial burdens imposed on an impoverished rural household.
Scottish Vernacular Poetry — It is written predominantly in Scots dialect, using regional vocabulary, idiom, pronunciation, and a distinctly Scottish rural voice.
Epistolary Poetry — The work is framed as a direct written reply to Mr. Aitken, the tax surveyor, answering his demand for an inventory.
Comic Poetry — Its catalogue of damaged horses, broken equipment, unruly children, and domestic complications relies on exaggerated, irreverent humor.