Jack Heaton, Wireless Operator

Trouble was brewing down in Mexico. Did I say _was_ brewing? Well, what I should have said is that it _had_ brewed, and will keep on brewing until Uncle Sam goes down there and cleans out Villa and all the other bandits and revolutionists.

You say the _Monroe Doctrine_ won't permit it? Now there you've got the best of me; I have a very hazy idea of what the _Monroe Doctrine_ means but I've had occasion to observe that whenever a country can't govern itself or the ruler of some country wants to govern the whole world Uncle Sam just naturally drives a gun carriage through the _Monroe Doctrine_ and settles the affair to everybody's satisfaction once and for all. He is very like a school teacher who is so much annoyed by a couple of his pupils that are constantly arguing and fighting he finally gets mad himself and licks both of them and then things quiet down and become decent like.