Explore "A Patter Song" by Ambrose Bierce on Textopian. Read with annotations and highlights.
There was a cranky Governor -- / His name it wasn't Waterman.
For office he was hotter than / The love of any lover, nor / Was Boruck's threat of aiding him / Effective in dissuading him -- / This pig-headed, big-headed, singularly self-conceited Governor Nonwaterman.
To citrus fairs, "et cetera", / He went about philandering, / To pride of parish pandering.
He knew not any better -- ah, / His early education had / Not taught the abnegation fad -- / The wool-witted, bull-witted, fabulously feeble-minded king of gabble-gandering!
He conjured up, "ad libitum", / With postures energetical, / One day (this is prophetical) / His graces, to exhibit 'em.
He straddled in each attitude, / Four parallels of latitude -- / The slab-footed, crab-footed, galloping gregarian, of presence unesthetical! / An ancient cow, perceiving that / His powers of agility / Transcended her ability / (A circumstance for grieving at) / Upon her horns engrafted him / And to the welkin wafted him -- / The high-rolling, sky-rolling, hurtling hallelujah-lad of peerless volatility!