Mary Olivier: a Life

I used to think there was nothing I couldn't give up for Richard.

Could I give up this? If I had to choose between losing Richard and losing this? (I suppose it would be generally considered that I had lost Richard.) If I had had to choose seven years ago, before I knew, I'd have chosen Richard; I couldn't have helped myself. But if I had to choose now -- knowing what reality is -- between losing Richard in the way I have lost him and losing reality, absolutely and forever, losing, absolutely and forever, my real self, knowing that I'd lost it?...