The Autographer by E.V. Lucas
A man sitting on the shore at Swanage toys with an open knife, prompting the narrator to fear he means to harm himself and to stop and speak to him. The man denies any thought of suicide, saying instead that he has been brooding on the illusion that England is a land of freedom. When the narrator asks what is wrong, the man gestures toward the stone globe at Swanage, comparing its local fame to that of Thorwaldsen's Lion at Lucerne or the Sphinx in the desert. He asks whether the narrator has seen "the tablets," and explains that two tablets have been erected with a request that anyone wishing to cut or write his name should do so there rather than on the globe itself. The narrator calls this arrangement very sensible, but the man reacts with bitter scorn, insisting that there is no pleasure in carving one's name on a spot officially set aside for the purpose. He declares that matters have reached a sorry state when Town Councils resort to sarcasm, calling the tablets exactly that, and quotes a description of sarcasm as "the language of the devil," affirming that the description is true. The narrator asks why the man wants to cut his name at all. The man opens his eyes wide in apparent astonishment at the question, retorting that there is no point in going anywhere unless one leaves one's name behind. He boasts that his name can be found all over England: on trees at Burnham Beeches, on windows at Chatsworth, on stone walls at Kenilworth, on whitewash at Stratford-on-Avon, and in the turf of Chanctonbury, as well as in belfries and on seats. He says he would be ashamed of himself if he failed to inscribe it, and permanently at that. He explains that the stone globe at Swanage was too much for him, since he had come there specifically because he had heard of it, only to be confronted with the tablets. He insists, however, that he has not wasted his time: he had gone to the New Forest a few days earlier, and he is planning to go to Stonehenge the next day. The narrator tells him this plan is no good. The man protests that he has bought a new chisel especially for the purpose, having been told that the stone there is very hard. The narrator informs him that he will not be able to carve his name at Stonehenge, since the site is now enclosed and guarded. On hearing this, the man buries his face in his hands and groans that everything is against him, and that the country is going to the dogs.
By E.V. Lucas · Genre: Humor, Satire, Short Story · 625 words
First lines
The Interviewer's Bag
He was sitting forlornly on the shore at Swanage, toying with an open / knife. Fearing that he might be about to do himself a mischief, I / stopped and spoke.
What this Textopian page supports
The Autographer is listed on Textopian as a short story by E.V. Lucas, dated Date unknown.
This source record anchors work identity, reading entry points, and catalog context for checking claims about the work.
- Work type: Short story
- Author: E.V. Lucas
- Date: Date unknown
- Language: English
- Genres: Humor, Satire, Short Story, Social Commentary, Character Sketch
- Length: 625 words
- Structure: 1 section, 19 paragraphs
- Reading fit: Easy (6th Grade)
Good citation fit
- Work identity for The Autographer by E.V. Lucas
- Canonical title URL and first readable passage URL
- Genre and topic classification from the Textopian catalog
- Readability and classroom-planning context
- Passage-specific claims should cite the exact /read/ URL for the relevant chapter or paragraph
Genres
- Humor — The narrative derives its primary appeal from comedic absurdity—the protagonist's obsessive compulsion to carve his name on landmarks and his bitter complaints about regulation create sustained humor through exaggeration and incongruity.
- Satire — The work satirizes both the protagonist's destructive impulse to deface public and natural monuments and the bureaucratic futility of regulatory authorities attempting to redirect such behavior through designated tablets.
- Short Story — The piece functions as a complete narrative vignette with exposition, development, and resolution centered on a single encounter, employing the compressed form typical of short fiction.
- Social Commentary — The narrative examines themes of individual freedom versus regulatory control, the human compulsion for permanence and recognition, and society's attempt to manage transgressive behavior.
Tags
satire · graffiti · vandalism · obsession · eccentricity · England · landmarks · tourism · ambition · immortality · regulation · freedom