
Two seamen, Legs and Hugh Tarpaulin, of the crew of the schooner Free and Easy, flee an alehouse called the "Jolly Tar" in the parish of St. Andrews, London, pursued by the landlady after drinking without paying, during a time when plague ravages the city under the reign of the third Edward. Running down a dark alley toward St. Andrew's Stair, they scramble over a barrier marking a district shut off by royal decree because of the Pest, an area stripped of goods by nightly plunderers despite the ban and the danger of death, and popularly blamed on pest-spirits and plague-goblins rather than human hands. Drunk and undeterred by the ghastly, fetid, corpse-strewn ruins around them, the two stumble against the entrance of a tall building from which fiendish shrieking answers Legs's yell, and they burst in. The room proves to be the shop of an undertaker, Will Wimble, with an open trap-door leading down to wine-cellars. Around a table set on coffin-tressels, amid a huge tub of punch and scattered bottles, sits a company of six grotesque figures, each distinguished by one exaggerated feature: a gaunt, saffron-faced president with an immense forehead, wearing a black velvet pall and hearse-plumes, holding a human thighbone; a dropsical lady opposite him with an enormous mouth; a consumptive young lady beside her with a long, flexible nose; a gouty old man in a surtout made from an escutcheon-cover; a shaking man in white hose with bandaged jaws and prodigious ears; and a paralytic man dressed in a coffin, reclining at an angle. Each drinks from a portion of a skull, and a human skeleton hangs overhead, a skull filled with burning charcoal providing light. The president identifies himself as King Pest the First, ruler of this "Dais-Chamber" of his palace, and introduces the dropsical lady as Queen Pest, and the others as the Arch Duke Pest-Iferous, the Duke Pest-Ilential, the Duke Tem-Pest, and the Arch Duchess Ana-Pest. He explains they are gathered to examine and analyze the wines and liquors of the city, in service of "Death." Tarpaulin interjects that the name is "Davy Jones," provoking the king's anger; as punishment for the intrusion, King Pest sentences both seamen to drink a gallon of Black Strap apiece on their knees or be bound and drowned in a hogshead of October beer. Legs protests he cannot possibly drink so much, having already a full cargo of "humming-stuff" aboard, and refuses the Black Strap. Tarpaulin, agreeing his own hold is fuller, then blurts that he recognizes King Pest as no monarch but Tim Hurlygurly the stage-player. The whole company erupts in cries of "Treason!," and Queen Pest seizes Tarpaulin by the breeches and throws him into the open puncheon of ale, where he flounders in the froth. Legs retaliates by shoving King Pest through the open trap-door and slamming it shut, then tears down the swinging skeleton and uses it to beat the company, killing the gouty little man by knocking out his brains. He then rushes at the hogshead containing Tarpaulin and rolls it over, flooding the room with ale, overturning the table and tressels, spilling the punch into the fireplace, and sending the ladies into hysterics amid a chaos of jugs, bottles, and coffin-furniture. The man with the horrors drowns on the spot, and the stiff gentleman floats off in his coffin. Legs seizes the fat lady in the shroud and rushes out into the street with her, making for the Free and Easy, followed by Tarpaulin bearing off the Arch Duchess Ana-Pest.
By Edgar Allan Poe · First published 1849 · Genre: Gothic Fiction, Dark Comedy, Fantasy · 5,485 words
The gods do bear and will allow in kings
The things which they abhor in rascal routes.
King Pest is listed on Textopian as a novella by Edgar Allan Poe, dated 1849 CE.
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Dark Fantasy · Gothic Fiction · Short Story · Horror · Supernatural · Mystery · Satire · Social Commentary · Critique of Society · Death · Disease · Pestilence