The Grand Duke's Rubies by Edgar Saltus

Name: The Grand Duke's Rubies
Author: Edgar Saltus

At the Balmoral Club—nicknamed "the Smallpox" by novelist Alphabet Jones for its pockmarked politician members—Jones arrives near midnight after a cotillon, short on cash and hoping to win money at baccarat. He joins Sumpter Leigh, Colonel Barker, and a stranger, David Fairbanks, a jeweler who launches into a long, insistent story that Jones tries repeatedly to interrupt with jokes and puns. Fairbanks recounts how a young man presenting himself as Prince Michel Zaroguine, aide-de-camp to the visiting Grand Duke Sergius of Russia, came to his Maiden Lane shop wanting rubies for a tiara as a gift. Zaroguine, fluent in English and collecting "Americanisms" for the Czarina, examined Fairbanks's stones expertly, rejecting imitations at a glance. He negotiated his own commission down from an outrageous demand to seven percent on a $110,000 sale of genuine Oriental rubies. After lunch talk of a "Sam Ward," Zaroguine suggested they go by the elevated railway to the Brevoort House, where the grand duke was staying, to complete the sale. At the hotel, Zaroguine coached Fairbanks on how to bow properly to the grand duke and warned him not to speak unless addressed. He took the rubies "to show his Highness," explained the payment would be a draft on the London Rothschilds signed by Count Beziatnikoff, keeper of the Privy Purse, cashable at Belmont's, and suggested a hotel clerk could run the errand to the bank while they waited over tea. Zaroguine then left the room, ostensibly to check on the grand duke. Fairbanks waited increasingly long—ten minutes, then more—until, uneasy, he opened the writing-table drawer and found the ruby box gone. Investigating, he discovered the drawer had a cut-off back matching a hole bored through the door into the adjoining room, through which the rubies had been stolen. Downstairs he learned the grand duke had left for Philadelphia that morning, no Prince Zaroguine was registered, and the rooms belonged to a "Frenchman" and a man registered from Boston—who turned out to be the same con man, pictured together in a photograph left behind. Inspector Byrnes identified the photograph as a notorious swindler with many aliases. Fairbanks then declares dramatically that the man in the photograph is sitting right there among them—Alphabet Jones himself—and, with Leigh and Barker's aid, tries to seize and hold him as the thief, threatening to shoot if he moves and calling for the police. At this climax the scene dissolves: Fairbanks, Leigh, and Barker vanish or transform, revealing that Jones has been asleep and dreaming on the club sofa the whole time. A waiter wakes him at six o'clock to ask if he wants anything before the bar closes. Disoriented, Jones asks whether baccarat is still going on upstairs; told the gentlemen are just leaving, he resolves to write up the vivid dream as a true story for the *Interstate Magazine*, reasoning it will earn him the two hundred and fifty dollars he had hoped to win at cards. He orders a Remsen cooler from the waiter as the story ends.

By Edgar Saltus · First published 1892 · Genre: Literary Fiction, Satire, Drama · 5,921 words

First lines

There is in New York a club called the Balmoral, which has two peculiarities -- no one ever goes there much before midnight, and it is the only place in town where you can get anything fit to eat at four o'clock in the morning. The members are politicians of the higher grade, men about town, and a sprinkle of nondescripts. In the unhallowed inspiration of a moment, Alphabet Jones, the novelist, -- in polite society Mr. A. B. Fenwick Chisholm-Jones, -- baptized it the Smallpox, a name which has stuck tenaciously, the before-mentioned members being usually pitted -- against each other. Of the many rooms of the club, one, it should be explained, is the most enticing. It is situated on an upper floor, and the siren that presides therein is a long table dressed in green. Her name is Baccarat.

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The Grand Duke's Rubies is listed on Textopian as a short story by Edgar Saltus, dated 1892 CE.

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Work type: Short story
Author: Edgar Saltus
Date: 1892 CE
Language: English
Genres: Literary Fiction, Satire, Drama, Mystery, Historical Fiction
Length: 5,921 words
Structure: 1 section, 77 paragraphs
Reading fit: Fairly Easy (7th Grade)

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Genres

Literary Fiction — The book features complex characters and explores themes of identity, wealth, and social dynamics, typical of literary fiction.
Satire — The narrative critiques social norms and the absurdities of high society, particularly through the character of Alphabet Jones.
Drama — The story contains dramatic elements, focusing on interpersonal conflicts and character development within a social setting.
Mystery — The plot involves elements of intrigue and deception, particularly surrounding the character of the grand duke and the rubies.