For the Sake of Toodleums by H.D. Umbstaetter
In "For the Sake of Toodleums," H.D. Umbstaetter follows Tom Rodney, a charming but unsuccessful businessman whose wife, Mary, is certain he only lacks a chance. Mary asks her brother, Bert Loring, to find Tom a good position in his insurance office. Bert privately doubts Tom's business sense, remembering a lunch Tom invited him to and then paid for with a five-dollar loan. Mary insists Tom is generous, kind-hearted and bright, and she keeps asking Bert to be quiet so he won't wake their baby, Toodleums. Bert gives in. He tells Tom that a good talker could do well in outside work, then introduces him to the chief of the proper department. Tom is enthusiastic and promises to climb the ladder hand over fist. He buys a silver rattle for Toodleums on credit. The next morning the chief gives him a list of prominent citizens to call on. Tom boasts that he will land a one hundred thousand dollar policy from Mr. Vandermorgan, a man the company has fished for unsuccessfully for months. He leaves briskly, walks around the block, and returns to the Long Life Building. Instead of seeing Vandermorgan, he goes up to Bert's office. There Tom proposes that Bert take out a ten-thousand-dollar policy. Bert protests that he has no wife. Tom answers that those dear to him will do as well, and he urges Bert to do it for the sake of Toodleums, whose godfather Bert is going to be. He begins by suggesting twenty or thirty thousand dollars. Bert, fearing worse, tells him to make it five thousand and go chase Vandermorgan. Tom fills out the application in Toodleums' favor and takes it to a clerk. Pleased, Tom works out that his forty-one dollar commission, earned in under an hour, comes to nearly two thousand dollars a week. Dick Willman stops him and mentions that Bert says Tom has taken up life insurance. Tom claims he has just landed a berth paying a hundred thousand a year and says he is going home to tell his wife. Then he admits he came out without car fare and borrows five dollars from Dick. He also invites Dick to a bird and a bottle at the club the next day. At home, Mary says she always knew he would make good. Tom agrees, then asks how Toodleums likes his new rattle.
By H.D. Umbstaetter · First published 1910 · Genre: Satire, Comedy of manners, Humor · 2,101 words
First lines
"Now, Bert, listen," said Mrs. Rodney, taking her brother into full confidence. "I want to talk to you. Tom is really the best husband that ever was. Of course I've never had another husband, but just think how he adores our baby -- our Toodleums!"
Bert Loring glanced at his sister's face to gather that the last remark was as a gold seal on her husband's virtues. She was young, pretty, and winsome. She was also Loring's only sister. Nevertheless he rubbed his chin a trifle doubtfully, for Rodney was a sad failure in a business sense.
Genres
- Satire — The story mocks Tom's empty bravado, his borrowing, and his absurd insurance pitch, while exposing the self-deceiving admiration of his wife and the pretensions of the business world.
- Comedy of manners — It turns on conventions of middle-class family obligation, polite deference to a sister's opinions, and the expectations placed on a brother-in-law and prospective godfather.
- Humor — The narrative relies on wit, deadpan asides, and comic reversals, such as Tom buying a rattle on credit and needing to borrow five dollars to pay for his own lunch.
- Domestic fiction — The plot centers on a married couple, their infant Toodleums, and the household dynamics between spouses and an in-law, with the home as a principal setting.
Tags
short story · satire · comedy · dramatic irony · life insurance · insurance sales · salesmanship · business failure · marriage · fatherhood · infant · brother-in-law
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For the Sake of Toodleums is listed on Textopian as a short story by H.D. Umbstaetter, dated 1910 CE.
This source record anchors work identity, reading entry points, and catalog context for checking claims about the work.
- Work type: Short story
- Author: H.D. Umbstaetter
- Date: 1910 CE
- Language: English
- Genres: Satire, Comedy of manners, Humor, Domestic fiction, Business satire
- Length: 2,101 words
- Structure: 1 section, 54 paragraphs
- Reading fit: Fairly Easy (7th Grade)
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