In a snowy Boston evening, a middle‐class couple’s domestic routine is shattered by a supposed robbery on the Common. The husband, returning from an outing to procure rosebuds for his wife, recounts being accosted by a group of “garotters” who seized his watch. In the ensuing flurry, his spouse fusses and administers a “remedy” of cologne and brandy while simultaneously expressing both terror and pride at his daring pursuit to recover the stolen item. Her account grows increasingly elaborate, insisting on the involvement of multiple assailants and extolling her husband’s unexpected physical courage, whereas he insists that he encountered only one attacker and acted on instinct, even though his recollection is muddled by the extreme excitement of the moment. The farce deepens when a second victim appears—an acquaintance whose lost watch is identified as the very object Mr. Roberts recovered. As family members, neighbors, and friends swarm the scene, the confusion mounts with each retelling. Amid exasperated rejoinders and frantic attempts to reassure one another, the household becomes an arena for exaggerated tales. The narrative oscillates between domestic concern, applied amateur crime‐fighting, and self-mocking humor. In the midst of the disorder, evasive explanations are proffered, and schemes to cover up the mishap by lightening the tone with absurd jokes are hatched. Gradually, it emerges that mistaken identity and misremembered details have conflated the events. What initially appeared to be a dangerous assault by a criminal gang turns out to be a self-inflicted blunder: the husband, in his haste and confusion over a misplaced personal watch, inadvertently took his friend’s watch while believing his own had been stolen. Consequently, the alleged heroism is undermined by his error, and the guests and family members, including an indignant relative and a clever friend who offers a humorous counterpoint, all must confront the implications for honor and reputation. The situation is resolved through a series of comic interludes—deliberate fabrications, feigned nonchalance, and repartee—that transform the potentially serious incident into a source of amusement in later retellings. Underlying the comedic farce is a commentary on the manners and self-importance of middle-class society, where trivial misadventures are amplified into matters of civic infamy. The interplay between genuine concern, hyperbolic storytelling, and reluctant confession encapsulates the tensions between personal integrity and social reputation. Ultimately, the episode serves as both a humorous examination of mistaken identity and a satirical reflection on the culture of honor, where even a minor misunderstanding can spiral into an elaborate and self-deprecatory performance of bravery and fallibility.
By William Dean Howells · First published 1891 · Genre: Realism, Social Satire, Domestic Fiction · 7 chapters